I'm a spiritualist, Santera, & Palera. I was raised into a family of Espiritistas and Curanderos. Growing up in a family that practiced espiritismo was not the easiest thing, because I could never for the life of me understand why they were doing what they did.
My told me that my grandfather and grandmother were curanderos and espiritistas, and that they started from a very young age, watching their family help people in Puerto Rico. My mom was very spiritual and I know a lot of my spiritual upbring to her. She would tell me tales of my ancestors and how they were spiritual.
I was scared of all that was going on around me, I couldn't stop all the spirits that would come to me. You can say that nights were the hardest for me as a little girl. I had to learn how to close my eyes and ignore the sounds that I would hear around me. One thing I could never block was the psychic dreams. I didn't realize that my dreams were psychic until I predicted the death of my brother's godfather, and at the time I was just 10 years old. I remember waking up to tell my mom the dream and within two weeks we received the dreadful news that my brother's godfather was shot and kill exactly how I had seen it in my dreams.
After that, I realized that all the sounds I was hearing at night and all the spirits I was seeing was not normal. My mom would say that I was her little brujita and she would take me and my brothers to misa espirituales, during which my brother and I would dance to the beat of the drums and I recall one song that I could never forget "Que Viva Chango". Back then I had no real clue who Chango was or why I would dance to it, but my mom would be so proud of us dancing, and people would clap.
As the years past, I would learn a few things here and there from my mom, but I was a bit skeptical, because I didn't want the gift, and I didn't want people to call me a Witch. The one thing I hated the most was being called a WITCH! I fought the gift for years, and it was when I had my oldest daughter that I didn't fully accept the gift. I was struggling a lot in life, my relationship with my ex was awesome and I was experiencing things that I was to difficult to accept. So, I went to my mother for help, and of course she took me to someone that could open my eyes.
I had to decide whether I was going to accept my gift or continue fighting it or let my 18 month baby carry on the gift. The last thing I wanted was for my daughter to struggle like I had in life not knowing how to control things, so I decided to do as my mother said. So, with fear and little knowledge I started to let my spirit guides come to communicate with me. Lots of times it was a bit scary, because they always wanted to come to me late at night or when I was in a very deep sleep and they would startle me.
With time I have developed my gift, but it has not been a very easy path. In 2006 was initiated into Santeria and Palo in Cuba, but my Godmother in Ocha was definitely not the best one. She has since past away, but it goes to show that in the religion there is a bit of everything. So, you have to be very selective of who you choose to guide you. My years in the religion have been very long and difficult. I can't say that I has been a very easy path, but I can say that since my Madrina (Godmother) past away a lot more things have gotten better.
I continue my relationship with my Padrinos in Palo and have since visited Cuba, which its a lot easier especially when you don't have a very controlling madrina around. I have learned a lot from my Padrinos in Palo and I'm very grateful for the teachings that they have given me.
So, why did I create this page? I created this blog to guide people who perhaps are in a situation like I was in to realize that they don't have to be scared. To accept the gift that was given to you and to make the best of it. To seek the help of others and not try to learn alone, because when I was first initiated into Santeria my Madrina abandoned me in the Airport. She got her money and took off like a bat out of hell. There is a saying in Spanish that says "Musico pago no toca bien," that is exactly what she did, she got paid, before my initiation and she didn't play the right turn after I was initiated because she felt she had the money in hand and didn't see a need for it. So, I tried learning as much as I could during my first couple of years. As a Iyawo, I did go to my Madrina's Padrino and asked him to guide me and he had me work in his botanoca during my first year of initiation. He considered that apprenticeship, but I considered it cheap/free labor. It honestly was cheap/free labor, because he wanted me and another's to work all hours of the week for next to nothing.
The way my Madrina's Padrino saw it if you didn't do tarot readings on clients you, stocked shelves, cleaned the store, and did odd end work in his shop, which meant no reading no money, free labor.
I enjoy learning and its by learning that you grow spiritually, and by that you get through all the difficult battles. I love, respect, and honor my Orishas and most of all my mother Yemaya. I always say I have two mothers, which are my birth mother who taught me and my spiritual mother Yemaya who guides me.
I hope you find this site useful, and join me in my journey.
